Mom's passing

by David

My mom passed away this past week.

Mom’s condition

Doctors suspected she was developing multiple myeloma (MM) back in 2017 and more lately we suspect she also had been developing Lewy-body dementia.

Events surrounding her death

She died in Wyoming, on her way to move to California to be near her grandchildren. Although mom had been sick for years, her death was a surprise for us, and particularly disappointing considering she was thrilled to finally be moving.

She died peacefully, lucidly refusing further care, in the company of her brother, sister, nephew and brother-in-law, and received fabulous help at the hospital. She was having trouble breathing, probably the MM and that was the cause of her relatively peaceful death.

At some point, probably in December, we’ll have a memorial in Chicago. Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers.

Being in touch

When I hear of someone going through a difficult period, what I do – and I’d invite anyone to do the same for me and anyone else – is reach out and say a word or two at the time, then put it in my calendar to get in touch 3-12 months later. I find people react in a lovely way to grief in the moment. Still, in the moment of grief, there are a lot of conversations to be had, a lot of explaining and catching up. But grief is a marathon roller coaster and it’s months down the road when the help and consideration dries up and the void really starts to hurt.

Gifts

Three causes that mom was passionate about were the Native American Rights Fund, the American Indian College Fund, and Freegeek. If there is a Freegeek near you who sells computers rebuilt by volunteers, then please do support it.

For a flavour of mom

Enjoy the fun momisms website, filled with mom’s strange sayings that we kids collected and maintained. If you miss her, you can “simulate conversation with our mother by hearing a random momism”.

My personal favourite is “tougher than boiled owl”. Hope you have some fun with it, we sure did!